A dieting foodie at Christmas? Is this fair???

I'm hemming and hawing about not tracking and indulging a little bit through the holidays.  Part of me thinks I need to avoid everything and try to lose as much as I can over the holidays, the other part of me thinks I need to loosen up a little.  I've lost 80 pounds and I'm not going to gain that all back in the next week.  If I gain a little, is it really a big deal?

My mood is starting to turn with all of the avoiding I've been doing and I'm not sure I've been doing the right thing.

I haven't had ANYTHING Christmas 'junk' related yet this season.  And I'm starting to be bothered by it.  Today we had our Christmas party at work.  We ordered in from Swiss Chalet (A popular rotisserie chicken restaurant in Canada) and I had a chicken breast and a salad.  I didn't get the "festive special" that everyone else had, no stuffing, no roll, no chocolate truffles, honestly I felt left out, like I was missing something.  I vowed at the beginning of this journey that I would never let myself feel deprived!

I'm thinking about turning in the tracker until Thursday next week, eat normally (healthy) most of the time, but still enjoy a few alcoholic beverages, some home made shortbread, gravy on my mashed potatoes, you know, enjoy Christmas.  Once boxing day is over life will return to normal here.  Can Christmas still be about the food?  I'm a bit down at the prospect of never being able to truly be the foodie again over the holidays!  Is it possible to balance healthy eating and common indulgences over the holidays?  Why, all of the sudden, am I doing the all or nothing thinking?  Haven't I always preached about not denying myself of anything?  All in moderation right?

Am I crazy?  Am I going to regret this decision in a week?  Is it going to derail me and I'll gain all the weight back because I never got back on the wagon?

In all likelyhood, I'm going to revert to fresh fruit, pile my plate high with veggies, eat a few sweets then be too full to pig out, lol!

I think I am going to put away the tracker for a few days and take the pressure off of myself.  After all, I'm NOT 250 pounds anymore and my brain works differently than it did a little over a year ago.  Chances are I'll gain a bit on monday then have lost it all by the 31st.  Cuz that's what I do, lol!

I likely won't be blogging as much over the holidays, but I'll check in here and there.  I PROMISE to get back to my food blogging on the 27th!  You can hold me to that!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!