Stag n doe

I had a great night last night at the stag n doe!

I did pretty well over all!  I sat at the ticket table most of the night which helped.  I did have a couple of drinks, and 3 of my pumpkin pie phyllo pastries (sooo yummy and ridiculously low in points!).  I did eat some of the salsa/cream cheese/sour cream/ cheese dip, but thats something I have a hard time avoiding, cuz it's so good!  There was pulled pork sandwiches, chili, tons of sweets, pasta salads, potato salads etc... temptation city!  But those are hard to track, so I didn't eat them :P

Now for a good OP day, going grocery shopping with my menu planned for the next week.  I do so much better when I can plan!

Weigh in on Tuesday...

Weekend.

I walked to and from work yesterday (actually I did all week), then took my girls to the mall.  I strapped them in the stroller and walked for 2 1/2 hours!  I got their halloween costumes :)))  Lara wants to be spiderman (I'm going to make a red and blue tutu so people know she's a girl, lol!)  and I got the cutest bee costume from winners for Zaryah!  This is my favorite time of year for so many reasons!  They both wore their costumes for Daddo when he got home and were so proud of them!  I still can't believe I found a spiderman costume for Lara!  She's so teeny!  The weight of a 1 year old and she's almost 4!

Stag n doe tonight and I'm on my game!

We're going to eat first.  And I'm pumping myself full of water.  I'm DD so I might have one drink, I made pumpkin pie phyllo turnovers that are ridiculously yummy and unbelievably low points, so that will be my treat.  I'm also bringing veggies and fruit will be there.  I'm so motivated for a great loss this week that I just don't want to screw it up!  My husband has strict orders to keep an eye on me and pull me away if I get close to the food table!

I'll let you know how it goes!  I'm so looking forward to these tempting weekends to be over!  Geez!

Uncharted territory

I've been following plan to the "T".  Making sure I get in all my good health guidelines, drink my water etc...

I stepped on my scale this morning and...

I haven't been in the 170's in a very very long time!  And even then, it was only briefly!

I spoke in the meeting last night about being in uncharted territory and how unsettling it is!  As long as I can remember, 180's is where my body wanted to be.  For years, that's where I sat.  So naturally I'm comfortable with my weight right now.  I have energy, I can move easily, I guess that's why the weight loss has slowed to a crawl in the past few months.  The next step down is the unsettling part.  I have to step out of my comfort zone.  Buy clothing sizes I've never ever bought, putting myself out there and receiving compliments even from people who havent seen me for a long time, getting closer to goal and it be me up at the front of the meeting telling my story.

I'm still doing this, but it's a lot more to wrap my head around than I ever expected it would be.  It's not just losing weight.  It's changing a mindset.  Realizing in my mind, why I was overweight to begin with.  Facing the fears of being out there, looked at and complimented.  A big part of me wants to hide behind "fat clothes".  Hell I'm even struggling to put in my new contact lenses because I won't have my glasses to hide behind anymore!  I'm gonna keep on plugging away though.  And when I'm at goal I'll be at goal.  Not on any time line.  I feel much better and more in control when I look at it that way. :)

K I'm done rambling now.  Nite all!

Giving up.

Not on weight loss, but on pressuring myself to lose weight by a certain date.  I'm in a wedding in 6 weeks and have a dress, but I was hoping to lose enough weight by then to have it taken in.  It does do up.  Although another 5-10 lbs would make it fit just that much better.  Unfortunately, since I've had the pressure on, I've had the worst month for weight loss yet!  Only 3 pounds lost this month, total.

So I've decided it's ok that it's a tad bit tight.  I've been tracking, 91 days straight in my 100 day tracking challenge I might add, but have only half-assed been on plan.  I just need to get back to the mindset of being healthy and getting to goal when I get to goal.  No pressure.

I've gone back to week one on Weight Watchers and am planning my days food wise, making sure I get in all the good health guidelines.  It seems to be helping, I redeemed myself for the crap weekend I had and I'm down one pound this week for a total of 68.8 pounds lost!

I was hoping to be down 75 lbs by my one year, October 11th, but again, there's that time goal again!  Not going to happen!  Unless by some miracle I can lose 6.2 lbs in the next 2 weeks.  Right!

I am so insanely proud of myself though for losing the 68.8 pounds I have :)

In meeting this evening, I mentioned wanting to fit into this dress better and that I was putting too much pressure on myself.  After the meeting one of the ladies stopped me in the grocery store telling me she says I'll be so proud of myself that day in my size 22 16 bridesmaid dress!  I really do love these weight watcher meetings and the people who are there, such an amazing support system!  As is my on line family in the 100+ pounds to lose message board on weightwatchers.ca.  I have to say, I wouldn't be where I am if it weren't for the support this program offers!

Ugh

First I'll start off with my NSV yesterday.  I had left my coat in Niagara Falls last weekend, not a big loss, it was miles too big for me :)  Yesterday I bought a new coat at Walmart (Hesitant to spend money on clothes, lol) and the LARGE did up!  Even over my gigantic lady lumps!

I'm still having a hard time with temptation.  Yesterday I did so well all day at work, then I get home and my nephew who watches our daughters made chocolate chip cookies for me to take to the shower.  I ATE THREE OF THEM.  Then we went to the mall and ordered a salad with chicken breast on top from fir for life, and my husband had extra fish from the fish and chip place, I had a whole piece!  Geez!

I really have to try harder.  Wedding is in 7 weeks... Bridesmaid dress is tight...

Girls weekend, feeling skinny and pie!

I got home a few hours ago from a girls spa weekend in Niagara falls!

I had been stressing all week about it, but had a plan, with some planned indulgences, and had a great weekend!

Friday

I ate a club sandwich and salad at Margaritaville friday evening, well mostly just the chicken breast, there was entirely too much bread!  The chicken was awesome on it's own though, so my spur of the moment, picking apart the sandwich helped me out!  I had previously decided I wanted the tilapia, but I wasn't feeling it when I got there.  I did have one drink, a Rye and Gingerale.  My fav!  We spent most of the evening just chatting in the hotel room!

Saturday we had breakfast in our room, I had a croissant, lots of fruit and a starbucks coffee, one mimosa and chatted while lounging on the beds.  Then we had our massages, my massage therapist was a 20 something guy!  I didn't feel self conscious about my body for the first time in a long time!  We chatted some more in the spa lounge.

Lunch was a third of this...

Crawford's 10/10 chocolate cream pie!  Look how skinny I am!

I ate a third of it in one sitting!  That was my planned indulgence!  Tracked and thoroughly enjoyed!  We went for a nice sit in the hot tub followed by a swim ( I treadded water/laps across the pool while we chatted for about a half an hour).  

I had a HUGE NSV!  The pool towel fit around me!  

We had an afternoon snack of cheese and crackers and more fruit. Then we went for a walk along clifton hill, went into the Hershey Store and I bought NOTHING!  I did have 2 samples of fudge, about a half inch cube each, which was lacklustre and helped the decision not to buy anything at either place!  When we got back to the hotel we had starbucks, I had a tall skinny, non-fat chai late and we sat by the fireplace in the lobby and chatted some more (see a trend?)

Dinner was at Canyon creek.  I ordered a strongbow while we sat in the bar and chatted while we waited for our reservation time, I sipped at it all through dinner and left about half of it.  I did go overboard at dinner and I felt SO FULL when we left!  I had a sour dough bun with honey butter on it and a couple of lettuce wraps as a starter, then my prime rib (fat trimmed off so I ate about half of it) and steamed vegetables.  Then, because we were celebrating my friend getting married in a couple of months, they brought out a big brownie/cake thing with ice cream. I ate about a third of that, I couldn't help myself!  It was so good!!!

I'm finally starting to look normal in pictures now!

We went back to the hotel and passed out, lol!  Food coma!

This morning we lazed around the hotel chatting again, I had some strawberries and another croissant for breakfast, then we went hot tubbing and swimming again, then we went to cora's for brunch!  I love Cora's!  They serve everything with a ton of fruit!  I had bacon and eggs, one piece of toast and every morsel of fruit on my plate!  Yum!

I had a great weekend!  Indulged like I should while out with the girls and didn't feel like I was missing out on anything while I still kept somewhat to plan.  Time will tell if I'm still going to lose this week or not, but we'll see!

The plan

I've been a little apprehensive about going to Niagara falls this weekend.  

I'm finally losing again after 3 bad weeks and I'm nervous I'm going to derail again!

So I'm implementing a plan.  

I've been very good all week (minus the bounty bar I had half yesterday and half today).  A healthy dinner tonight, my food is all planned for tomorrow during the day.

-I've looked at the menu at the restaurants and have decided on what I'm going to get at each one.

-have my 3rd of the Crawford's pie that's coming with us.

-One drink with dinner Friday

-One drink with dinner saturday

-Bring cheese and crackers that I would eat at home (triscuits and low fat cheese), plus some brie and hummus and stuff for the other girls, veggies and heluva good dip, fruit, already cut up I can fill up on.  

Find the gym and the pool.  Run and swim.  

Wish me luck!

My sanity is unraveling as we speak!  Work was ok, I ate well and had a half of a bounty bar, then someone pulled out butter tarts (avoided those).  Then I get the itinerary for the girls weekend (I'm already stressing about this), were having dinner at Margaritaville!  Great!  I look up the menu, there is ONE meal that is relatively points friendly.  Ok, I'll have the fish.  No biggie.
Then my friend tells me she's ordered a chocolate cream pie from Crawford's (A little bakery/farm store that I CANNOT say no to.  It's a rule i have, their food is a 10 out of 10 and I only have it about once or twice a year).  Ok.  I'll eat lightly friday, have the fish at dinner, I'll be ok.

Then she starts emailing about food we'll bring to eat while lounging around the hotel, for breakfast and lunch.  Dinner will be the Keg (I'll do well here.  Steak and a salad, my usual :).  Someone is bringing little cakes, croissants with home made jam, brie and crackers, M&M's dips, I signed up for fruit and veggies, and I'll bring my own low fat cheese and parmesan & garlic triscuit thin crisps (my current obsession and low points too!).

Then I found out a long time, very sick diabetic patient of mine (I'm a Diabetic Educator) passed away last night after having surgery to amputate her legs in order to try and save her life from the infection.  This always breaks my heart.  I try so hard to fix these patients :'(

Then I leave a little early (I worked through half my lunch) and my husband is in a funk because of something that happened at school.  I feel guilty that I'm leaving him all weekend when he hast to study and do projects for next week.  The kids are whiny and he has to leave right away.  No help for bedtime.  I had to make dinner with the baby in my arms.

Now I'm not looking forward to going away.  Guilt and the promise of a thousand temptations.  So much for my good mood!

Oh well.  Off I go to get the kiddies to bed, then I'll drown my sorrows.  In laundry.  Oh the life of a working wife and mother struggling to lose weight!

Pants or no pants?

Since I got dressed this morning and realized I was wearing heavy pants today I wondered if I should go home and change before going to weigh in at my weight watchers meeting tonight. I always make sure to wear light clothing to weigh in.  Last week I asked my sister to meet me there with a pair of shorts to change into, lol!  And only stayed the same last week!  I hummed and hawed, changing my mind a few times before I decided to bite the bullet and just wear the heavy pants.  That way it wouldn't really matter in the future what I wore.  Whether I wore heavy pants or stripped naked before the ladies, my body was going to lose the same, even if the scale there didn't move because of what I wore.

I went in there (freshly emptied in the bathroom next door, of course), and I was down 2.2 pounds!  Even with heavy pants on!  That brings me down to 68 pounds lost!

My sister and I went and picked up the stuff to make a healthy dinner, bolstered by our losses (she's on maintenance, but expected a gain, she was down 0.6 lbs!) and grabbed stuff for tuna greek.  Yummy!

Temptation

There are 18 chocolate chip muffins sitting on the counter in the coffee room at work...

Thank GOD I looked at the nutritional information!  22g of fat PER MUFFIN!  Sudden'y they don't look as good knowing they are so heavy on points!

I just ate my lunch and am peckish.  I already ate my apple and had a granola bar...  I hate how on mondays I'm always so hungry!

Tonight we have an awesome dinner planned!  My mum lives with us but is away for the week.  We can't cook fish normally because she's allergic to it.  So we're having fish for dinner!  Yum!  I'll hopefully post a recipe later if I have time/forethought to take a picture!

Weigh in tomorrow!  Looking like it'll be a good one finally!

So running with a stroller ain't so fun!

My husband and I went for another walk/run tonight.  A different route, more inclines (kind of hard to avoid though when we live in a town whose name contains the word "hills").  My legs are still a bit sore from Tuesday's run and I had only finished dinner about a half an hour before we went out.  My daughter wouldn't let me run my last run so I had to take the stroller.  We have a great stroller, but it really isn't designed for running, especially with 45 odd pounds of kids in it!

I still ran 890m out of 2.41 km, less than half, but I started the walk trying to keep up with my husbands insanely long legs!

Even though it wasn't as good a run as the previous one, I'm still proud of myself for doing it!  I know in time I'll get better.  Tomorrow I'm going to attempt to do a Jillian Michaels video.  Trying to see if I can do something active everyday.  With the bridesmaids dress looming in a couple of months as well as the Trek or Treat 5k walk/run only a month away, I'm feeling a bit pressed!  In a good way though, just having a hard time keeping motivated!  I wish progress happened quickly!  It's hard waiting for results to show themself!

Edited to add:

I just looked as the mileage from this run and the last run.  I ran longer this time in one interval than I did in my longest one last time!  My longest run last time was 450m.  This time it was 500m!  A half a kilometer without stopping!!!

Bad day turned around

Today I had a bad moment and an NSV.

The bad moment was at work on the phone with an elderly patient discussing his bloodwork.  I was already having a bad day at work, every patient I'd spoken to had been in a nasty moodI've been at this job for a while, but was off during maternity leave.   He didn't recognize my voice and asked if I was that short chubby girl that he used to see all the time.  The went on to describe this woman (me) in gory detail on how big this girl was!  I told him he was being inappropriate whether he was talking to me or not.  I know I'm not that girl anymore, and he wouldn't not place me and that girl as the same person, but it made me feel like $#!T!

Then my mom and I went shopping for a body sucker to wear under my bridesmaids dress that I'm going to have to wear soon.  The bras I wear right now are 40's, and too big.  So I got a 38 to try on thinking it sounds way too small, but I'll try it anyways, I had to go get a 36!!!  Holy crap!  That made my day!

I'm going to try on the dress again with that thing on underneath tonight.  Hopefully it fits!  I still have 2 months until the wedding, but I'm stressing a little...

Running. Yes I'm trying again! Again!

I'll start by saying I stayed the same.  Again!  Last week I lost 0.8 lbs, the week before that I stayed the same.  I've been tracking, but not eating so well, grabbing crap at work, having a cheeseburger at McDonalds, etc...  I haven't been exercising either.

Now some of that is because the kids have been acting up at bedtime, some of that is because of various injuries/illnesses in the past few weeks, but really I've been lazy, I could have squeezed something in somewhere.

So.  With these crappy losses lately, a 5k and a too tight bridesmaid dress looming, I need to get my butt in gear!  Tonight my sister and I went for a run, and I ran almost an entire km!  A big deal for me!  We got to a certain road after doing a quick walk to warm up.  We started running and my goal was to run as far as I could.  So I did.  2 whole blocks!  Then we walked a block and started running again.  Another 2 blocks!  Then we walked home from there.  My ankle was fine, my knee that I could barely walk on after my last run a month ago felt fine.  I like the idea of just running instead of following the c25k.  This feels more natural.  I think I can do this.

What a difference a little progress can make!  I was feeling quite down after the crap weigh in this afternoon!