In with the old...

The past year has been a tough one. But amazingly mundane at the same time. 

We started by living apart while my husband travelled for work.
I started having severe pain issues and my health started to decline.
I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain Syndrome.
We moved again into our dream house (that needs work).
We went through financial hardship when my husband got laid off. 
I had to pick up a second job to make ends meet.  
He found a good job, but had to leave again.  
Now we're paying for two households.

Ahh.  Enough of that. 

So, The good things that have happened. 

We have two wonderful, healthy girls. I have a diagnosis, with meds that actually help. 
I have two amazing jobs. 
My husband and I are still deliriously in love. 
With him home not working, he got to spend the summer home with his girls in this amazing place we call home. In our own in ground pool. 
We live in the most beautiful place on earth, The Okanagan Valley.
We have a dream house that we can fix up the way we want.
We have a financial plan.
My husband finally has his dream job and has now done over half of his stint away from home.
My mental health is much better and I'm better than I've been in years.

And so much more.

Life is nowhere near the same. 

I've gained back all but 10 pounds of what I lost "before". And instead of dwelling on the fact that I've gained so much, I'm working on letting that go and start again. 

My health isn't the same and my mental health is different than before, so I need a new plan.  One day at a time.  I can't go gangbusters, but every little bit will add up.

I've lost count how many times I've restarted Weight Watchers over the past couple of years and I don't know why I keep struggling with that, with the exception that I don't have my sisters here to attend with me. I really want to start again, I KNOW the program works for me, I just need to stick to it!  

I know it's cliché, but isn't that the case with anyone with weight to lose?  I have a plan for 2016...

It's been a long time...

I'd love to say that I've been working on losing weight since my last post, but, nope.  Sorry. 

In the past year and a half, maybe two years, I've not been able to get my shit together long enough to make a dent in losing what I've gained.  Actually, I've been pretty consistently gaining over that time.  My highest weight (since losing it all) was a couple of weeks ago, 231 lbs at Weight Watchers.  Which isn't all bad, I've been going to Weight Watchers since May 13th.  I lost 5 lbs the first month, then had family visiting from back home and gained it all back in two weeks, now I'm working on getting that gain off again.  I'm down an overall of 1.6 lbs since my recommit!  Lol!

I have to admit, I wasn't really on track for most of June.  Although having gone to the same meeting throughout, I'm finally starting to feel like I'm a part of a weight loss community again!  Which I can honestly say I haven't felt in over a year. 

Just this past meeting on Saturday, it really felt like I was part of the group.  People remember my name now, I'm starting to get to know a few, the leader is my age, and that helps, and I'm participating.  I finally feel like I might just be able to stay on it this time. 

This particular group meets on Saturday mornings, has a facebook group and really supports each other.  Since moving across country I've not had the support of a group and I think that has been a big part of my gains.  My husband is a great support, but we are also each others enablers.  I need that outside pressure to keep me going.

I'd love to say I'm back on track, and losing again, but of course, I've had so many false starts and have said this to you countless times, lol! 

But...

I'm going to the meetings.

My brain is finally switched back on and when I'm looking for something to eat, on plan foods are my first thought. 

One big reason I think I'll stay on plan this time...

My health.

I have chronic pain, the doctor threw out the term Fibromyalgia, which I hate, but whatever.  My current medication regimen is no longer working or possible.  I refuse to take Narcotics, and theres really not much out there thats covered by my drug plan. 

So.

In researching ways to help my chronic pain I stumbled upon the anti-inflammatory diet.  Pretty much whole foods, avoid processed anything, white flours etc.. Eat healthy, bottom line.  Huh.  Fancy that.

Something switched in my brain.  My diet can help me feel normal.  Deal.

It's too soon to tell, it's only been a week and a half but now that my brain see's processed food as a danger, making healthy choices has been easy. 

I'll keep you posted.

I can't believe I'm doing this... AGAIN!

I've been reluctant to post for the last while, only because I've had so many false starts over the past year.   I'm confident now in posting, because after losing 5.5 pounds in the three weeks before Christmas, giving myself "leeway" over Christmas and New Years and gaining some, I'm definitely back in the game.  Officially back on Weight Watchers now 6 weeks!  I've still not lost all of my Christmas gain, but mid week sneak peak shows me I'm well on my way for a good loss this next coming weigh in on Wednesday.  So here I am, definitely on the path to a smaller me.  Again.

I've had some health challenges, which I'm sure would be eased by weight loss, also are a significant set back as well.  I have Achilles Tendonitis, in both feet, so I can't run, and I can't walk a whole lot, and I also have a Ganglion Cyst in my left wrist, which makes it hard to do a lot of body weight exercises.  I know these sound like excuses, and yes I have definitely used them as such, but I've been losing these past six weeks.  And I've just joined a gym, which has child care at a time that is convenient for me, and a couple of friends who want to kid swap so they can go to the gym as well!

I'm hosting a challenge on the Weight Watchers 100+ pounds to lose board and that is helping keep me accountable, as well as some non-scale goals.

- to not be lazy
       Really, this is a huge one.  When I want to sleep in, get out of bed.  When I want to say no when the kids want to go tobogganing, or want me to play on the floor, do it, when I want to leave (parent accompanied) pre school because my 3.5 year old is independent and I'm bored but she wants to stay, find something to do with her.  Instead of grabbing quick food because I don't want to just cook for myself, cook something healthy, but can make good leftovers.

-Track what I'm eating
      As I said, I'm doing weight watchers.  My goal is to track every day in 2015

-get more exercise
      However I get it.  "Walk away the pounds" videos, yoga, playing with the kids, cleaning, going to the gym, etc...
-meal plan
       For budgetary reasons as well as diet reasons

My highest weight this go-round was 215.2.  I got down to 209.7 right before Christmas and went back up to 213.6 on New Years Eve.  My last weigh in this past Wednesday I was 212.6 and my tracking streak is at 10 days.

I'll post "Pre" pictures in a day or two, we currently don't have a full length mirror and my hubby is away for work.