next year...

At 277lbs, combating chronic pain, high heart rate issues, asthma and fibromyalgia, my body isn't interested in doing much. I've been at my sisters for a few days, and can't get down on the floor to paint, can't climb the stairs more than once or twice to help her move, can't lift, can't move, can't breathe. My mantra has been, "next year will be different." and hopefully I'll be on the other side of gastric surgery, and it will be different.

I wish I could be that mum that jumps in the water with her kids. The wife that doesn't need help do do simple things. The sister that can run all over doing whatever is needed during a move. I hate who I have become. 

Thankfully, I should be hearing from the clinic soon and should have the process started. 

Bariatric Consult

Well, 7 years after hitting my goal, I'm now 12 pounds over my original starting weight. I'm now sitting at 264 lbs. With a BMI of 45. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia a couple of years ago after symptoms started after my breast reduction in 2014 and subsequent car accident that Christmas. Since then, I haven't been able to exercise the way I did, depression and anxiety took a hard hold on me, and every year, 10-15 pounds piled back on. I have started many weight loss programs over the last few years, with numerous attempts at weight watchers, but it just didn't click anymore. I'm older, just turned 41, and those pesky things that I "don't really need to worry about that yet" have turned into medications and monitoring. I started Crestor for cholesterol a few months ago, mostly because of a strong family history of heart disease and stroke. Today I was started on Ramipril as my borderline blood pressure has skyrocketed to worry some.

This wasn't meant to be a sad post. I wanted to update any followers on where I am, and to start chronicalizing my next steps. Today, I was referred to the Guelph Centre for Bariatric Excellence for bariatric surgery. In Ontario, we are lucky to have a fully funded obesity network where people who meet certain criteria can have surgery, with a thorough and lengthly pre and post surgery multidisciplinary program.

I had spoken to my family doctor about 6 months ago about surgery briefly and he suggested we wait on it. Today I went in with my BP high and spoke with him again about it and he agreed it was worth a referral and he would support me however he was needed. One thing to mention about my family doctor, he has watched and managed my mom through 25 years of decline due to heart and blood vessel disease. And has seen these same things starting in me. The only difference between my mum and I, I have 100 pounds on my mum. And I have the luxury of time and hindsight. I don't need to follow in her footsteps. 

7 weeks in

I've been on this latest weight loss streak for 7 weeks now!  I think that's a record!

I'm down 8.5 lbs, averaging 1.2 lbs a week. I've not been good the whole time, but I have stuck to Weight Watchers meetings, only missing it on the weeks I have to work Wednesdays.

At first I changed a few habits.

I changed my 2 pints of cider a day habit to gin and slimline tonic, with lots of lime juice (real lime, not lime cordial), then finding I like just plain tonic with lime and I don't even really miss the gin!

Cut way down on bedtime snacking, and making more of an effort to eat breakfast.

I also started weighing myself daily at home again.  Now I know that's not recommended, but when I lost 89 lbs back in 2012-2013, I weighed myself each and every day, so if it didn't derail me then, it won't now!

And I started paying attention to the pedometer on my phone, lol! Hopefully I can get a fitbit or something, but for now, I can't really afford it. But really, what will it do for me. Nothing at this point. I'll probably forego one entirely and spend the money on weights, my true fitness love is Weightlifting!

I've started in the last 2-3 weeks paying more attention to the food I buy, more fruit and veg, more from scratch meals, planning ahead etc..

Now as a side effect of these changes, my husband hasn't had his drinking and snacking buddy, so he's drinking and snacking less, and he and the kids are snacking on fruit and veg more, since it's there and handy, so of course he's lost close to 20 lbs!

Flex

Weight Watchers Flex is the easiest plan yet.

They have totally revamped the plan and have given us a list of 0 point foods. Making it easier to make healthy choices.

The list includes;

• Most vegetables  
• Most fruit
• Eggs
• Skinless chicken and turkey breast
• Plant-based proteins like beans, peas, tofu, lentils and corn
• Fat-free plain yogurt
• All unsmoked fish and shellfish

Of course, if you add anything or cook in anything with a points value, that must be tracked and counted.

They still give you daily points allowance, but you no longer have to reach it, the points are designed to supplement, while you fill up from the zero points list.

For me who has struggled with the brain power for tracking, this makes it easy. I still struggle, but I'm taking it one day at a time, and this journey is ongoing. As long as my weight is trending down over time, I'm happy.

Went to a meeting

I went to a Weight Watchers meeting on my way home from walking the girls to school this morning.  I've been sick for a few weeks with Asthma and Pneumonia, and the walk there is pretty much all up hill, especially for this morbidly obese person on any normal day. But with the help of my ventolin, I managed it just fine. Then remembering it was Wednesday and meeting started at 9, I walked there instead of home!

Having obviously not been paying any attention to what I'm eating the past couple of months since my last restart, I was up . Weighing in at 18 stone 1.5 lbs. Or 253.4 lbs. Up 2.2 lbs from when I last attended in January. Could have been a lot worse...

It was a good meeting, Sharnie my leader is very motivating and a couple of her helpers in the group met some big milestones, pointing out they've lost quite a bit since Sharnie took over the meetings in January. I think if I can keep myself going to the meetings, I'll do well.  It has sucked not having my sisters at the meetings to push me to keep going, hopefully I'll meet some friends that will keep me accountable.

I'll be updating my blog a bit, mostly the weight record, re-setting goals and new before photos. 

I've come back to this blog as I spent so many hours on here, organizing, writing lists, tracking my weight loss, and succeeding at losing weight. I've started numerous blogs over the last few years hoping to get back to it, but just haven't. My motivation left me years ago.


This is me. Was me. Can be me. 

When I was "feeling" my best. I want to be like this again. Minus the internal outrage, depression, chaos, body dysmorphism, struggle, sadness. I read back in the weeks before this and I can really see a trend, Thank God I'm not there anymore!

I felt fat. I was in a size 8-10, but all I saw was my gross fat belly. The biggest part of me. 

Now I'm almost 40, morbidly obese with chronic pain and what I'm told is"Fibromyalgia", always thinking about my weight, always planning, starting programs, never staying with them.  With 40 only 9 months away, I do not want to be like this anymore!

I can't really exercise because of pain, or I can, but then I can't do anything for days or weeks because I've sent myself into a fibro-relapse, and can't work.  I love my work, I can't not work for obvious reasons, but I need to lose weight.  

I've gone back to weight watchers numerous times, foolishly signed myself up for a 5 day a week bootcamp, that sent me into said relapse, I tried looking into weight loss surgery, but it's too expensive to pay for myself, and I don't qualify as I DON'T HAVE DIABETES YET. Yes, I was told that. 

My family doctor has said she will support me however she can, doing a medically supervised diet, with walking, yoga or swimming as tolerated, plus having access to her nurses whenever I need them. I haven't taken her up on that offer yet, not sure why, but this should be my next starting point.

For now, I'm just going to try to make a decision about everything I eat, instead of just eating.  And maybe drinking more than just coffee... Hey Eva!  Have you heard that you can get water pumped right into your kitchen?! 

37 years young.

I've been paying better attention to what goes into my mouth the past 3 weeks.  I'm down 2.9 lbs so far this month.  Which I'm glad I got a head start on, being this past week we celebrated mine and my daughters birthdays!  I've never stayed on plan for birthdays through my first loss, and I didn't this week either.  Birthdays are meant to be celebrated.  And for us, that includes food!  So I'm not counting on a loss this week, but that's ok.

DH signed up for a gym membership this week, now that we know he's coming home for good in February!  He was able to get a posting an hours drive away instead of  way up north!  We went to the gym together on Friday and have another gym date planned for tomorrow!  He's a great motivator for me, and pushes me hard at the gym.  I love it!  He has decided he wants to tone up and thin out!  Although I love him anyway he comes, it'd be nice to have a washboard to do my delicates on. *wink*

In with the old...

The past year has been a tough one. But amazingly mundane at the same time. 

We started by living apart while my husband travelled for work.
I started having severe pain issues and my health started to decline.
I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain Syndrome.
We moved again into our dream house (that needs work).
We went through financial hardship when my husband got laid off. 
I had to pick up a second job to make ends meet.  
He found a good job, but had to leave again.  
Now we're paying for two households.

Ahh.  Enough of that. 

So, The good things that have happened. 

We have two wonderful, healthy girls. I have a diagnosis, with meds that actually help. 
I have two amazing jobs. 
My husband and I are still deliriously in love. 
With him home not working, he got to spend the summer home with his girls in this amazing place we call home. In our own in ground pool. 
We live in the most beautiful place on earth, The Okanagan Valley.
We have a dream house that we can fix up the way we want.
We have a financial plan.
My husband finally has his dream job and has now done over half of his stint away from home.
My mental health is much better and I'm better than I've been in years.

And so much more.

Life is nowhere near the same. 

I've gained back all but 10 pounds of what I lost "before". And instead of dwelling on the fact that I've gained so much, I'm working on letting that go and start again. 

My health isn't the same and my mental health is different than before, so I need a new plan.  One day at a time.  I can't go gangbusters, but every little bit will add up.

I've lost count how many times I've restarted Weight Watchers over the past couple of years and I don't know why I keep struggling with that, with the exception that I don't have my sisters here to attend with me. I really want to start again, I KNOW the program works for me, I just need to stick to it!  

I know it's cliché, but isn't that the case with anyone with weight to lose?  I have a plan for 2016...

It's been a long time...

I'd love to say that I've been working on losing weight since my last post, but, nope.  Sorry. 

In the past year and a half, maybe two years, I've not been able to get my shit together long enough to make a dent in losing what I've gained.  Actually, I've been pretty consistently gaining over that time.  My highest weight (since losing it all) was a couple of weeks ago, 231 lbs at Weight Watchers.  Which isn't all bad, I've been going to Weight Watchers since May 13th.  I lost 5 lbs the first month, then had family visiting from back home and gained it all back in two weeks, now I'm working on getting that gain off again.  I'm down an overall of 1.6 lbs since my recommit!  Lol!

I have to admit, I wasn't really on track for most of June.  Although having gone to the same meeting throughout, I'm finally starting to feel like I'm a part of a weight loss community again!  Which I can honestly say I haven't felt in over a year. 

Just this past meeting on Saturday, it really felt like I was part of the group.  People remember my name now, I'm starting to get to know a few, the leader is my age, and that helps, and I'm participating.  I finally feel like I might just be able to stay on it this time. 

This particular group meets on Saturday mornings, has a facebook group and really supports each other.  Since moving across country I've not had the support of a group and I think that has been a big part of my gains.  My husband is a great support, but we are also each others enablers.  I need that outside pressure to keep me going.

I'd love to say I'm back on track, and losing again, but of course, I've had so many false starts and have said this to you countless times, lol! 

But...

I'm going to the meetings.

My brain is finally switched back on and when I'm looking for something to eat, on plan foods are my first thought. 

One big reason I think I'll stay on plan this time...

My health.

I have chronic pain, the doctor threw out the term Fibromyalgia, which I hate, but whatever.  My current medication regimen is no longer working or possible.  I refuse to take Narcotics, and theres really not much out there thats covered by my drug plan. 

So.

In researching ways to help my chronic pain I stumbled upon the anti-inflammatory diet.  Pretty much whole foods, avoid processed anything, white flours etc.. Eat healthy, bottom line.  Huh.  Fancy that.

Something switched in my brain.  My diet can help me feel normal.  Deal.

It's too soon to tell, it's only been a week and a half but now that my brain see's processed food as a danger, making healthy choices has been easy. 

I'll keep you posted.

I can't believe I'm doing this... AGAIN!

I've been reluctant to post for the last while, only because I've had so many false starts over the past year.   I'm confident now in posting, because after losing 5.5 pounds in the three weeks before Christmas, giving myself "leeway" over Christmas and New Years and gaining some, I'm definitely back in the game.  Officially back on Weight Watchers now 6 weeks!  I've still not lost all of my Christmas gain, but mid week sneak peak shows me I'm well on my way for a good loss this next coming weigh in on Wednesday.  So here I am, definitely on the path to a smaller me.  Again.

I've had some health challenges, which I'm sure would be eased by weight loss, also are a significant set back as well.  I have Achilles Tendonitis, in both feet, so I can't run, and I can't walk a whole lot, and I also have a Ganglion Cyst in my left wrist, which makes it hard to do a lot of body weight exercises.  I know these sound like excuses, and yes I have definitely used them as such, but I've been losing these past six weeks.  And I've just joined a gym, which has child care at a time that is convenient for me, and a couple of friends who want to kid swap so they can go to the gym as well!

I'm hosting a challenge on the Weight Watchers 100+ pounds to lose board and that is helping keep me accountable, as well as some non-scale goals.

- to not be lazy
       Really, this is a huge one.  When I want to sleep in, get out of bed.  When I want to say no when the kids want to go tobogganing, or want me to play on the floor, do it, when I want to leave (parent accompanied) pre school because my 3.5 year old is independent and I'm bored but she wants to stay, find something to do with her.  Instead of grabbing quick food because I don't want to just cook for myself, cook something healthy, but can make good leftovers.

-Track what I'm eating
      As I said, I'm doing weight watchers.  My goal is to track every day in 2015

-get more exercise
      However I get it.  "Walk away the pounds" videos, yoga, playing with the kids, cleaning, going to the gym, etc...
-meal plan
       For budgetary reasons as well as diet reasons

My highest weight this go-round was 215.2.  I got down to 209.7 right before Christmas and went back up to 213.6 on New Years Eve.  My last weigh in this past Wednesday I was 212.6 and my tracking streak is at 10 days.

I'll post "Pre" pictures in a day or two, we currently don't have a full length mirror and my hubby is away for work.

Precariously back in the swing.

Our furniture finally came last weekend and I've been super busy unpacking and organizing.  On Tuesday I totally forgot it was Tuesday and missed weigh in so went in later and was up 0.8.  I had a few days of total disorganization and takeout as a result, but now the kitchen is organized and I'm back on track.  I've had to make myself sit and eat breakfast, snack and lunch, as I'd been going half the day without food and gorging on take out in the afternoon.

The best part of unpacking, I found my scale!  I've been hovering just above 200 pounds and I'm happy to say I finally fell below!  6.4 lbs left to lose of vacation gain. I'm getting there!

I had to go back to basics on the exercise front.  My body just can't handle the stress of the HIITit Kelowna.  12 minutes or not, my body is just not ready for mountain climbers and burpees.  My bad ankle is needing iced and braced again and the Ganglion cyst on my left wrist is forcing me to rest that too!  I'm sure having an extra 30 lbs on my frame doesn't help either.

I've been doing a few hours of serious work in and out of the house though, enough to really work up a sweat and have a feeling of accomplishment (and sore feet!) at the end of the day.  Walking a couple of times a week when I can, I need to increase that, my poor dog is feeling neglected!

Week one weigh in

I was down 2.1 pounds yesterday!

I used all of my activity points and most of my weeklies, but I was active most of the week and ate as well as I could between indulgences (mainly alcohol and restaurants).

Activity was a big increase this week.  I started walking again, the evenings here are nice and cool since the sun goes behind a mountain quite early, so I've been walking, gardening in the overgrown yard, painting the playroom and a work out I've started that is run by two Nurses here in Kelowna.  It's called HIIT it Kelowna and it's a 12 minute workout challenge that you do for 30 days.

 It's tough, I'm quite out of shape right now, and I have a ganglion on my wrist (a stupid cyst on my wrist that doesn't bug me as long as I don't put pressure on it) that is getting in the way of a few exercises, push ups, mountain climbers etc..  So I've had to modify those. But I'm doing it.  By the end of the 30 days it should get easier.  And really, if it were easy, they wouldn't call it high intensity, so I knew what I was signing up for.

A couple of updates in the PhoenixBlaise life...

Hubby is working and just got his Alberta Paramedic licence!  He'll be working away from home through the fall and winter, which sucks, but the money is good and will help us get ahead.

I spoke with the manager I'd interview with and I definitely have a job in Vernon Hospital!  It'll be Casual which is awesome because I can plan around life, the kids and Hubby's schedule.  I have two weeks left of vacation before I start :D I'm nervous and excited.  I haven't worked in a hospital setting in 6 years and haven't been in a ward setting in 8!  But it'll be good to get my Nursing skills back. Nurses in medical units are under-appreciated, it's a tough job and you need to really know your stuff.  I can't wait to get back into it!

I just got a call (really, while I was writing this post!) and our furniture should be coming tonight or tomorrow!  It's been almost six weeks since I've seen my couch...

Ooooouch!

As promised, I went back to meetings tonight now that we're settled in Kelowna after a cross country move.  

I'm up another 10 lbs since my last weigh in putting my total gain for the year 39.6 lbs.  Ouch!

I'm also over 200 lbs :(

However!  I went back.  I tracked today and I will track tomorrow.  I swear to god I'm not seeing that stupid number again!!

I slid back into "the mindset" easily today.  I think it helped that I'd planned ahead that today was the day I started back on Weight Watchers.  I measured, I tracked, I ate a healthy lunch even though I was out, I skipped Dairy Queen even when the kids had some.  Pretty good I'd say.  

Big changes

It's been a while since I've blogged. And a long while since I've been on program. 

I lost my job of 4 1/2 years May 16th. Termination without cause.  Although I know there were budget issues, and I was paid top wages for a Nurse in my position, my boss said this was the best way for it to be written for me to get the benefits of "being fired" ( turns out I wasn't the only one let go either).  I got a good severance package and my health benefits were continued through my severance period, so we were able to get our teeth checked, prescriptions renewed etc...

About an hour after I came home the day I was let go, my husband and I had made the decision to move.  We have been thinking about relocating for a couple of years now.  I'd been open with my boss that with Tom being a new paramedic, I was willing to go wherever the job needed him to go.  I was marketable and could get a job anywhere.  For Paramedics in Ontario, it's a hard go, starting out. 

We decided that British Columbia was where we were going to go!  We got our professional licences out west and Tom quickly found a position with an industrial paramedic company that pays quite well (but will take him away for 2-3 weeks at a time up north).  We gave our notice to our landlord (of the house we'd just moved into) booked the movers and set out on our journey June 30th! 

We took 2 weeks to get out west, camping, couch sailing and hoteling it.  We camped in Kelowna for a week before we found a great house to rent (with an awesome landlord who offered the house to us early) and we moved in July 18th!  Still none of our stuff... But it's home.

I was nervous about finding a job here, but my worries were unfounded. 

I went for an interview with one of the local hospitals and came out with a job, and possibly two managers fighting over me. :D

Neither of us are working yet, start dates are pending, Tom has found an interim job with a transfer service here and starts with them tomorrow.  Money is tight, but we're dealing.  We've had some help from our parents which is awesome and we are very grateful for!  It costs to have everything switched over!  Licences, health insurance, car insurance, plates etc...not to mention we have nothing but a frying pan to cook on!

It's been a rough couple of months.  But when my hubby or kids cuddle up next to me and I look out my window at this...

All my stress melts away...

Down the rabbit hole...

Well I went down crazy street and ended up in Emerg for chest pains due to anxiety and am now medicated.  That was 3 weeks ago.  Turns out I can't just cope with everything.  I actually need to deal with my problems!

So I took a hiatus from everything.  Nothing social (except my sisters wedding which I had to do the wedding cake and act normal, with Ativan and a lot of help thankfully!), no gym, no diet, no scale(!!!) nothing.

I'm starting to feel in control of my life somewhat, and I've signed back up for the monthly pass at weight watchers.  I'll be going back tonight.  I stepped on the scale this morning and am up 18 pounds from my goal weight.  I broke down and bought new work pants in a size 14 (I was an 8-10 this time last year).  But I'm ok with that.  I'm still a loser of over 70 pounds.  And this is a process.

I'm really fighting with myself on if I should go gang busters or not with weight loss.  I seem to be an all or nothing kind of gal, and up until now I've not been great at coping, just throw myself into something else that will distract me and helps me avoid my issues.  Or is going headlong into weight loss good for me?  Maybe that IS dealing with my issues?

Mentally I was in a much better place a year ago.  I hit my lowest weight of 162 lbs and felt like I WAS THERE!  Then I had my breast reduction and struggled for the last 12 months.  The last 5 of which I've really not been doing anything to help my weight loss.  Oh, except give myself more to lose!

I decided to go back to meetings because I was looking online for programs to help support me, like Food Addiction community groups, Overeaters Anonymous and so on... then it hit me.  The reason I went to weight watchers in the first place, and wouldn't miss it for anything, was because of the support!  My WW's people GET me!  And are there for me! And admire me! and encourage me!

I'm still on hiatus from the gym.  I'm going to give myself a few weeks back on program to get used to everything again, then we'll see.  In my head, the gym sabotaged my weight loss.  I started gaining when I started working out.  So we'll see where my head is at mid june.

I saw this on Facebook this morning and pretty much sums up my days these past 5 months...

I do so well all day, then the evening munchies hit...

A not quite on plan weekend

Thank goodness for the activity I got!  Because it was a grab-and-go kinda weekend shamefully :(.

I still did have a successful weekend in a few other aspects though, I got the P90x app for my ipad (I'll start AFTER I finish making 13 shawls and a wedding cake for my sisters wedding...  I still need to locate weights... but I'll get it together.  I might do the 30 day shred in the meantime to get started, I never have finished that.

 I got everything put away in the coat closet, kitchen and bathroom, and scrubbed down said rooms, put up my husbands motorcycle shed, got the girls bikes and scooters out and gave them a safe nice sized area on our driveway for riding, cleaned the bike trailer, got the patio equipment out...

I also went to a birthday party and with hubby to pick up his bike from my brother's and had a nice long ride :)

Walking again

I finally walked to work!  It's been probably since November that I've been able to walk to work. Mostly the weather, then the mojo, then illness or injury...  But today, the weather is beautiful, my ankle is behaving and I feel like a million bucks!

It felt great!  I also took advantage of a nice day and went for a walk on my lunch.  I'm still not back to the gym yet, maybe next week.  I'm kind of struggling with something.  I'm having a procedure done on May first that will stop me actively working out for a couple of weeks, do I go to the gym then stop?  Or do I wait until after I'm healed ten go back?  I'm thinking I can probably still walk after surgery, but I can do that outside, i don't need the gym for that...

Part of me is worried that I'll start gaining again...

Last April I waited the month after my breast reduction to start at the gym.  I consistently gained from then until now...  I'm finally losing.  I really don't want to upset my new found mojo.  I'm thinking maybe I'll put my membership on hold through the summer and just exercise outside?  I know I'll need the gym come the fall when the weather gets bad.  I haven't decided yet...

So interesting factoid!

I know I said I wasn't going to compare measurements to my last ones, but I did anyways.

Studies show that stress causes an increase in the hormone Cortisol, which deposits fat around your waist.  Funny thing, my legs, arms and bust are the same measurement they were a year ago when I was at my lowest.  Only my waist, stomach and hips have increased, 8 inches in total!

I didn't put much thought into that, I was under a lot of stress the past few months, but holy cow!  Thank goodness my stress levels have dropped considerably!

One week down.

My first week went well!

I used all of my Activity and Weekly points as we had 3 birthday events and a bridal brunch, but I made good choices.

I'm down 3.1 lbs this week!

I'm quite motivated, and dreaming of my pounds to lose dropping!  Having the ticker on my lock screen of my phone is really helping.  It reminds me often of my success.

Hubby took before pictures for me and did my measurements!  I'm really excited to see them go down again.  I'm not going to compare them from my last ones, I just don't want any increases to derail me.  I know I've gained weight and inches, but that's in the past.  I'm losing now.

My stats. I'll do them again when I hit 170!

Size: 12 or large

Weight: 179.3 lbs

Bust 42
Waist 40.
Belly 44
Bum 44.45
Rt thigh 23.5
Lt thigh 23.25
Rt calf  14
Lt calf 14
Rt arm 13.25
Lt arm 13.5

Here's a side by side of just after I started losing weight.  Man!  I can't feel fat looking at that!

Starting over. For real this time.

So Wordpress didn't work out for me, so here I am back again in my comfy spot!  I uploaded all of my posts from there so you can catch up if you didn't follow me there.

Since I posted on my birthday, I've gained 12 pounds. I have many excuses, but really, does it matter?  It was me that ate, it was me that stopped going to the gym, I have no one to blame but myself.

Ok, no more bad talk.  What's done is done..

Hubby and I have made a lot of changes lately. The biggest one is we are no longer caregivers to my mom (She's well taken care of, don't worry!) and we've moved into our own house!

I'm taking stress a little better than I was (a big motivator to moving).  Not to mention life has calmed down a lot in the past few weeks!

On Monday the 31st, as I'd planned before the move, I started over. I weighed in that morning at 182.4 lbs. a full 20 pounds from my lowest only 11 months ago.  My heart just wasn't in it. Half way through gaining I decided to change my goal weight to what I was at at that point (172.5 lbs) figuring just lifting the stress of losing would change things. It didn't.  I couldn't keep the weight off after reaching lifetime at Weight Watchers and I haven't been back. I reached lifetime almost 4 months ago. 

I feel like a cop out and really not wanting to get to my original goal is just plain laziness!

So with all of these fresh starts in life, I'm starting fresh in weight watchers. I'm going back to active losing and I'm going to aim for my original goal weight.  145 lbs.  so in total I have 37.4 pounds to lose. 

Since Monday I've been on plan and motivated.  As of yesterday I've lost 3.2 pounds!

I made a ticker on lilypie.com and put a screen shot of it on my home screen on my phone. So every time I look at my phone, it reminds me of my progress!

In a couple of weeks I'm going back to weight watchers meetings.  I need the support and my two sisters that I left behind need my support too. 

No more excuses!

As soon as I find my tape measure I'm going to take my beginning measurements and a before photo!

Happy birthday to me! Jan 19, 2014

I turned 35 today. Don’t know when that happened, aren’t I 25?

Well, I may be old(er), but I’m certainly in much better shape (and place!) than I was at 25! At 25 I was going to Dr Bernstein trying to lose weight, lost 40 pounds then gained it back again plus more! I was working two Nursing jobs in two different cities, working out here and there, but wasn’t able to do 5 minutes on the lowest resistance on an elliptical machine (only crazy people use those!). Now I can do a full hills workout, incline and resistance at 12 for a full 30 minutes on an elliptical (great cardio workout btw). And I’ve lost 89 pounds, keeping 80 of it off for the past year! With proper diet and exercise. No quick fix, no miracle pills, just good ole blood, sweat, tears, patience, determination and faith!

The past couple of weeks since my last post have been busy! I’ve been really good, exercising when I can, taking life and stress in stride, my pelvis has been acting up since I slipped on the ice just after Christmas, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. We also have a new little light in our life!

Meet Bruno! He’s our 9 week old Shar Pei Bulldog mix puppy!

He’s so sweet and smart!

I’ve been doing well weight loss wise too. On New Year’s Day I weighed in at 176.5, yesterday I weighed in at 170.5! I’ve had a few treats yesterday and today, but tomorrow I’m back on the straight and narrow and hopefully will fall under 170 (and stay there) for the first time since the summer!

I’m really feeling like I’m back on the train and back losing.